Facing Your Feelings to Overcome Emotional Eating
Losing a loved one is never easy. I recently lost my best friend and have been overwhelmed by the intensity of my emotions ever since. At first, I tried desperately to numb my feelings by indulging in food. I binged on comfort foods trying to suppress the awful grief I felt over this loss. But using food as an emotional crutch only provided temporary relief. The very next day, the feelings would return with the same force.
I realized suppressing powerful emotions only works temporarily. I needed to stop avoiding and fully feel the grief, anger, guilt, and heartbreak in order to move through the pain.
It hasn’t been an easy or fun process by any means. We can’t control the force of emotions that come up. But we can choose how to react to them. I’ve allowed myself to break down crying, shout, and accept that feeling this breadth of emotions makes me human. As hard as letting it all out has been day after day, I can feel the pain gradually lessening.
Can you relate at all? Have you ever tried to suppress or avoid emotions that felt too overwhelming to handle? Many of us turn to food for comfort when big feelings arise – especially intense anxiety, stress, or sadness. Emotional eating gives a temporary distraction, but it doesn’t address the root issue. It’s like trying to save money while struggling with emotional spending. You’ll never make real progress on your goals until the core problem is dealt with.
We can't control the force of emotions that come up. But we can choose how to react to them.
The Hard Truth
Here’s the hard truth: We’re meant to experience the full spectrum of human emotions, even the difficult ones like grief, fear, shame, and anger. If a loved one came to you brokenhearted about a tragedy, you wouldn’t tell them to bury their feelings under cartons of ice cream. You’d listen with care, offer empathy, and reassure them it’s normal and healthy to feel sad right now. But when it is you, when you are stressed, you are anxious, you are depressed, you are sad, you are confused… you tell yourself “I am not allowed to feel like this”. We need to show ourselves the same patience and compassion we’d give to others in pain.
Suppressing emotions long-term leads nowhere to good. Forcibly numbing our “negative” feelings inevitably dulls our capacity for joy too. Ten years from now, if you’ve consistently repressed emotions with food, you may not feel anxiety anymore but you also won’t feel positive emotions like excitement or happiness as vividly. That sounds like an empty, muted existence to me – and no way to genuinely live.
Instead of turning to food as comfort when you are overwhelmed with difficult emotions, I suggest you hold space for your emotions. Remember that you are an emotional being and telling yourself not to feel is like telling yourself not to breathe.
Acknowledge Emotions, Let Yourself Feel Them
Stop being emotionally constipated and remind yourself that each time you try to suppress an emotion, you will only give more power to it so sit down with your emotions, acknowledge them, let you feel them and watch how they dissipate. When an urge strikes to binge eat, sit down and journal instead. Get the swirling emotions out through writing without self-criticism. Let them flow through you naturally until they dissipate on their own. This simple act teaches that you can sit with discomfort and come out intact on the other side.
Have you struggled with using eating as a way to stuff down big feelings too? How could you learn to be more accepting of your own emotions and avoid suppressing them with food or other unhealthy coping mechanisms? Does any part of my experience resonate with you?
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